I have to write today and trust that the process of getting these thoughts off my chest will prove therapeutic.

It is very upsetting when you beat yourself down, feel inferior and insecure, because other people don't like you, or don't treat you in the way you think is worthy of fair exchange. We start hating our-little-selves when other people - that we really like - treat us differently from how we hoped they would. If you try and impress someone that you love, and go out of your way, it often ends badly since you have an expectation to receive the same treatment.

Now, firstly, you should never expect anyone to give you exactly what you give them. Secondly, if you have an imbalanced relationship, then don't bend over backwards and expect to get the same in return. Accept that you are a good person, with great attributes, and that someone will come along and appreciate you for the person you are. Just like you should feel about people you like. It's not worth the feelings of insecurity, or depression, when people don't really appreciate you. If they don't see the good things you do for them, then it shouldn't make you feel terrible about yourself, rather make peace with the fact that you've done everything you could to be a great friend/person, and stop beating yourself down. We need to love people for who they are, and never expect anything in return. This selfless attitude needs plenty discipline, but it's honestly the most rewarding and successful approach in life. Love, and you will be loved.

PS: I can't help but to post this image again of me and our family dog Simba. Dogs don't hold regrets and it doesn't matter how crazy-mad you get at them, they will still love you and protect you regardless. Always. Unconditional love. We can learn from them!

Reasoning behind "The Plan!"

I would like to use a very simple example to explain my reasoning behind having a "plan" in life.

When you need something specific from the shopping mall - say, you need a broom for the house - then you drive there with the plan to buy a broom. You might have an idea of the type of broom, price range, what your budget will allow and a few other options too (which shop has the best selection; hard brush/soft brush; etc). Your main plan (A), therefore, is to buy a broom. Your options are your plans B and C. Wouldn't you agree that driving to the mall with this in mind, helps the process of only looking for that specific item. Of course, once you get to the mall, you might be distracted by a clothing store, a music store or the like. This is where discipline comes in: giving yourself a time limit; and very specific plan to only focus on buying the broom. If you stick to what you set out to do, it will be a quick, efficient and successful task, completed.

The analogy between buying a broom at the shopping mall and the human recipe for success is very important. The underlying message is also to have discipline, however, it starts with the plan. If you can create a "to-do list" for the mall, then why can't you make one for your own life. If you can organise your day at the office, then why can't you organise how you'd like to achieve your goals & dreams. It really boils down to the same principle: planning. And discipline. But start with the plan. And don't just think it, or say it, WRITE it down, damn! It couldn't have been easier, yet so few of us actually do this!

My tips on writing your plan should include these steps:

* Write down 5 things that you currently do/are involved with in your life;

* Adjacent to this list, list those that you currently enjoy the most, with the first one being ranked the highest in terms of fulfillment;

* Then, make a list of the 5 things you wish to be doing and don't currently do;

* Finally, a list of 5 ways to achieve the 5 things you wish you'd rather be doing;

From these lists, you should have a better understanding of what you NEED to be doing with your life in order to ENJOY your life again.

The next step is to add a time frame to each activity. An action plan that is linked to a disciplined process.

Never accept anything at face value!

I enjoy reading new studies about food, nutrition, health, and quantum physics. For example, I am fascinated by how nutrition works! I am consistently intrigued by new studies, often scientifically based, about food, and how humans react to it. Our biological interactions - blood chemistry - with food is so vital in understanding our health, that you simply cannot ignore the writings and research on this subject.

I have learnt a few years back that microwave ovens are extremely damaging to the food you put in it. Now, if you still don't think so, read this article:

http://articles.mercola.com/sites/articles/archive/2010/05/18/microwave-hazards.aspx

On a more positive note: I've had a very successful shoot for Barron clothing (Kevro); for their 2010/11 catalogue. This will be launched by August this year, and there will be a fashion show where you'd be able to check us out as well.

In the meanwhile, don't accept anything at face value; try and read both sides of any story, and read/research before you just do what 'everyone' says is right!

**Below, a picture of me with DJ Tiesto, taken after our interview for V_Entertainment/Vuzu. He played a special gig this past weekend in JHB, South Africa. Awesome!

My Fitness Plan: STEP 1: Push-Ups

So, being a little smaller than other muscled guys, I have to revise a plan that focuses more on building my core muscle groups at a higher intensity. Since I don't take any major supplements or steroids, I do this the natural way, which takes a little longer. Yet, it can certainly be done!!

I've read several articles that emphasize the importance of body-weight exercises. This strengthens the muscle in a more natural form and is also referred to as resistance training.

The most important one being the press-up or push-up: Thanks to Men's Health UK for the 100-Press-Ups challenge. Check out http://www.menshealth.co.uk /

I find the push-up the best type of exercise to do after waking up in the morning - right next to my bed. Then, off to gym, and finish my work-out with another 50 reps. It will burn and do you good!!

It starts with YOU

When you experience one of those frustrating days: horrible gym session; someone dear to you leaving you disappointed; personal relationships not turning out to be as happy (normal); and your good intentions or advice not being taken; well, then, you gotta look inside yourself (find the balance), and create an outcome. My biggest frustration is with slow progress: whether it be at my job; personal ideals & goals; gym (fitness); or getting to the next level in a relationship/ or perhaps expecting more from a relationship/or maybe looking for better solutions to tricky relationships. In the end, I have to settle for the way things unfold, naturally. Which, I will admit, often is the best option. It is stressful to try and speed things up. Don't bother. Instead, create opportunities and let this keep your mind occupied. Sitting and waiting for something to happen, or getting frustrated with your current situation, is a hopeless-scenario! And I'm partly talking to myself here. There's no point for me to complain of being unhappy (in any number of situations), if I ain't doing anything about it! Easier said than done. But seriously, it's like following a step-by-step guide on "how to change your life..." When most people only talk about their ideal life, only a few get to the grind and DO something about it. It's a disciplined, non-stop, hard-working, dedicated mission of note: staying true to your highest value(s). This means that you have to honour your highest priorities - the things you value the most (which should include what you really want to do in life).

**

Thanks again for BlondeZulu for picture above.

Find the Balance

After a breakdown in a relationship recently, I decided to consult a girlfriend that studies psychology. She recommended that I read Dr Demartini's book "Heart of Love." Now, most of us have emotional problems (albeit occasionally for some of us); and we get so worked up about it that we cause our bodies to shut down, and bring on feelings of total depression and hopelessness. Rubbish. Really. Demartini writes that the trick is to 'find the balance.' We are too easily focused on the 'disaster' of a disappointing experience (fighting, or losing, a loved one; job dissatisfaction; financial woes or similar). Yet, if you were to look at any situation more closely, you'd find that there's a very intricate process unfolding, which the universe has created to ensure the existence of every living organism. Nature, and life, works in balance. It's the law of physics, and you'll find it in your own life, if you discipline yourself to look for it. I found this to be truly the moment of awakening for me. It's not easy to explain all the detail in one blog post, but the most important facet to this theory is to see things as both positive and negative. When you experience the negative, you have to discipline yourself to find the positive in that situation/event. For example, when a person irritates you (negative), he/she is trying to tell you something about yourself that you need to work with in order for you to grow into a 'better' person (positive). Ultimately, we would all like to get along with everybody, and be a 'likeable' person.

Another example is accepting someone for who they are. All of us have a different set of values (things you prioritize in your life and live according to); and if you can understand that someone else's values will be different to yours - they'll judge differently, have different habits, interests, etc - then you'll be able to communicate to this person by appreciating their values instead of yours. This will result in someone liking you more since you speak to them through their set of values.

There are many examples, but my advice is to find this book and just read it. Make notes, study it, and learn the principles. It will truly make you love yourself more, and create a happier sense of understanding of people, and relationships. You don't need to worry anymore that you'll lose someone, for as long as you respect someone else's values, find the balance and show true love, you can't be denied love. Ever. And if you have to move on from someone that's not accepting you, then you'll never have to find fault with yourself, since you're honoring your own values and someone that respects that will appreciate you for being YOU.

*I'm flying from Johannesburg to Cape Town on Friday to visit my family on the West Coast. I am very excited. Have a blessed weekend!! And, spread the love!